Photo
The sun rises earlier where you are. We’re on the polar ends of the same time zone. That seems so close, but your restraining order says I can never get any closer. How distant you feel, knowing we can never share the same sunrise or sunset.

The sun rises earlier where you are. We’re on the polar ends of the same time zone. That seems so close, but your restraining order says I can never get any closer. How distant you feel, knowing we can never share the same sunrise or sunset.

Photo
It’s thrilling to be with you while you lose your mind. You always had endless good qualities, but spontaneity was never one of them. All that has changed. I don’t know what you’re going to do next. You are capable of doing anything at any moment without any warning. And you seem more sure of yourself. I remember a time when a waiter would get your order wrong, and you’d silently pick at food you never asked for and tip the same regardless. Now you might pick at your food or you might flip over the table and accuse the waiter of being a part of a grand government conspiracy or something else. I don’t know, and I love it. Anything is possible. Everything is possible. We’re living moment to moment since you’ve gone insane.

It’s thrilling to be with you while you lose your mind. You always had endless good qualities, but spontaneity was never one of them. All that has changed. I don’t know what you’re going to do next. You are capable of doing anything at any moment without any warning. And you seem more sure of yourself. I remember a time when a waiter would get your order wrong, and you’d silently pick at food you never asked for and tip the same regardless. Now you might pick at your food or you might flip over the table and accuse the waiter of being a part of a grand government conspiracy or something else. I don’t know, and I love it. Anything is possible. Everything is possible. We’re living moment to moment since you’ve gone insane.

Photo
We’re going to die here together, but this isn’t some great romance. I’m not Juliet and you aren’t Romeo. Or the reverse. Neither was a cheating whore liar who deserved to die. Neither refused to get walked over yet again. We’re a couple of kids dying in each other’s arms, but I’m leaving a note that says, “She brought this on herself.” Maybe this is how the feud between the Montagues and the Capulets started.

We’re going to die here together, but this isn’t some great romance. I’m not Juliet and you aren’t Romeo. Or the reverse. Neither was a cheating whore liar who deserved to die. Neither refused to get walked over yet again. We’re a couple of kids dying in each other’s arms, but I’m leaving a note that says, “She brought this on herself.” Maybe this is how the feud between the Montagues and the Capulets started.

Photo
I woke up drunk on your bedroom floor, and I crawled out to the street before you noticed I was there. I looked up at your broken bedroom window — how I must have entered this time. I wondered what you would have done if you caught me passed out in your house again. I wondered what I would have done if you weren’t such a deep sleeper. Not that I remembered how I got on your floor anyway. I had pieces of glass still stuck in my fist.

I woke up drunk on your bedroom floor, and I crawled out to the street before you noticed I was there. I looked up at your broken bedroom window — how I must have entered this time. I wondered what you would have done if you caught me passed out in your house again. I wondered what I would have done if you weren’t such a deep sleeper. Not that I remembered how I got on your floor anyway. I had pieces of glass still stuck in my fist.

Photo
You didn’t ask, but I’m going to send you letters about myself like a one-sided pen pal. I’m going to tell you how great I’m doing without you and hope you knew me well enough to know I’m lying or being sarcastic or both. Your mailbox will overflow day after day with answers to questions you never asked but should have or never asked and never wanted to know. I will interweave extreme lies with extreme truth and hope you sit down to pathologically figure out what I really mean. Or don’t. Fuck you either way.

You didn’t ask, but I’m going to send you letters about myself like a one-sided pen pal. I’m going to tell you how great I’m doing without you and hope you knew me well enough to know I’m lying or being sarcastic or both. Your mailbox will overflow day after day with answers to questions you never asked but should have or never asked and never wanted to know. I will interweave extreme lies with extreme truth and hope you sit down to pathologically figure out what I really mean. Or don’t. Fuck you either way.

Photo
There is no God for you and me. I don’t believe anyway and I don’t really know, but if God exists, it isn’t for us. We shut that door here. We shut that door today, and there is no going back.

There is no God for you and me. I don’t believe anyway and I don’t really know, but if God exists, it isn’t for us. We shut that door here. We shut that door today, and there is no going back.

Photo
The kids can’t know we aren’t in love. At least not until they’re grown and gone and it doesn’t really matter any more. We’ll build a series of safe words. A word for when you are going to start screaming and won’t stop until your complete, brutal thoughts are exposed. A word for when I’ll start crying in public because I’ve realized yet again that I’m going to waste too many years of my life on you. Words for both of us when we’re slipping out to have one of our affairs and not running errands like we overtly said. Safe words for both of us for those brief but powerful moments when murder seems like the best way out. The only way out. Almost the only sane thing left to do because we trapped ourselves in this Hell and it isn’t worth it and we don’t have the power to fight about it for even a second more, so this is the way we fix the whole thing. We’ll hear these words and we’ll cover for each other and we’ll make it through these years somehow.

The kids can’t know we aren’t in love. At least not until they’re grown and gone and it doesn’t really matter any more. We’ll build a series of safe words. A word for when you are going to start screaming and won’t stop until your complete, brutal thoughts are exposed. A word for when I’ll start crying in public because I’ve realized yet again that I’m going to waste too many years of my life on you. Words for both of us when we’re slipping out to have one of our affairs and not running errands like we overtly said. Safe words for both of us for those brief but powerful moments when murder seems like the best way out. The only way out. Almost the only sane thing left to do because we trapped ourselves in this Hell and it isn’t worth it and we don’t have the power to fight about it for even a second more, so this is the way we fix the whole thing. We’ll hear these words and we’ll cover for each other and we’ll make it through these years somehow.

Photo
You told me you were trisexual, and you accused me of being monosexual. I was intrigued. I thought you had maybe reached new heights of sexuality I had never dreamed of. Strange erotic pathways into the hypersexual unknown. I thought you were an insane fetish nightmare, and I wanted to journey into that living Hell with you. It wasn’t long into our nude, fumbling interplay that I knew the truth. You had never had sex before, and you didn’t even know what sex was. I stepped out of my marriage based on the incomprehensible ramblings of a confused, possibly mentally unstable, virgin.

You told me you were trisexual, and you accused me of being monosexual. I was intrigued. I thought you had maybe reached new heights of sexuality I had never dreamed of. Strange erotic pathways into the hypersexual unknown. I thought you were an insane fetish nightmare, and I wanted to journey into that living Hell with you. It wasn’t long into our nude, fumbling interplay that I knew the truth. You had never had sex before, and you didn’t even know what sex was. I stepped out of my marriage based on the incomprehensible ramblings of a confused, possibly mentally unstable, virgin.

Photo
All my childhood friends are dead. Not at this moment, but that’s not how time works. There are other moments, infinite moments, when they are dead. There are billions of years of moments where they haven’t existed yet. What’s the point when, taking time as a whole, my friends are more dead than they are alive? How am I expected to go on?

All my childhood friends are dead. Not at this moment, but that’s not how time works. There are other moments, infinite moments, when they are dead. There are billions of years of moments where they haven’t existed yet. What’s the point when, taking time as a whole, my friends are more dead than they are alive? How am I expected to go on?

Photo
You got drunk for the first time at your cousin’s wedding and got sick in the bathroom, annoyed that the tips of your hair dipped into the toilet water but too preoccupied to do anything about it. You got drunk for a second time ten years later on your mother-in-law’s under cooked rum cake. Your mother was an alcoholic, so you say, and your father died when you were three. You once said if you drank wine, you’d like to think you would drink white wine, but you wouldn’t really know. You once said if a man gets drunk more than once in his life, he’s alcoholic, but I’m not sure someone who’s been drunk twice can have an opinion on alcohol.

You got drunk for the first time at your cousin’s wedding and got sick in the bathroom, annoyed that the tips of your hair dipped into the toilet water but too preoccupied to do anything about it. You got drunk for a second time ten years later on your mother-in-law’s under cooked rum cake. Your mother was an alcoholic, so you say, and your father died when you were three. You once said if you drank wine, you’d like to think you would drink white wine, but you wouldn’t really know. You once said if a man gets drunk more than once in his life, he’s alcoholic, but I’m not sure someone who’s been drunk twice can have an opinion on alcohol.