Transmission from Spacefunmars

BEGIN TRANSMISSION TO EARTH

Good day,

This is a transmission from Spacefunmars. I regret to inform you I am your new leader. Earth will be a different place now that I am in charge — although I will try not to impede too much on your worthless Earthling lifestyle.

Things will go on much like they did before, but you will stop worshipping your God (or Gods as it may be). Your God does not exist anymore — at least not to you. From this moment on, you will worship my various Earth pets. These are your new “Gods” (if you want to put a label on it).

I stole my Earth pets from your planet, and now they live in my spacefortress, which hovers above your weak, worthless planet. I will take pictures of my Earth pets to remind you of who you must worship — who you must obey. You do not want to know what my advanced war technology can do to your backwards planet.

As a reminder of my almighty power, I will also broadcast your innermost thoughts and secrets along with these pictures. I know everything you think. I know everything you do. When you think you are alone and dreaming and nightmaring and crying and laughing, I am there inside your mind. When you see your secret here, you will know my true power.

All transmissions to my ship can be sent to kal (at) igohardnow.com.

END TRANSMISSION